


When the Cat Goes Quiet, Worry

by bladehuntress



Series: Burn Cream For Cats [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blanket Permission, Cat mannerisms were modelled after my own cat, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Zuko, Spirit/Zuko confuses everyone but Toph, They might be a healer but in this world there's no such thing as the Hippocratic Oath, They've got mad plant skills and aren't afraid to use them, Zuko calls themselves Spirit, and you can't convince me otherwise, based on Muffinlance, both for healing and... not, crouched on the roof at night with glowing eyes?, herbalist!Zuko, it was far more terrifying than it sounds, that's a vengeful god, that's no mortal animal, who is often referred to as a demon because of some truly horrifying cursed images
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:47:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23989858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bladehuntress/pseuds/bladehuntress
Summary: Spirit knows their friends don't understand, and they can't find the words to explain.But it won't matter for long. They'll be showing them what they really mean soon enough.(Or: Spirit is the only person they know who acts like a cat, which might be why nobody ever stopped to consider everything that entailed.)
Series: Burn Cream For Cats [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1731832
Comments: 69
Kudos: 1561
Collections: Finished111, Good_or_Decent_Zuko_With_a_dash_of_Iroh_Azula_Gaang





	When the Cat Goes Quiet, Worry

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MuffinLance](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MuffinLance/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The One Where Zuko's Hair Matches Sokka's and Other Tales](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21632206) by [MuffinLance](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MuffinLance/pseuds/MuffinLance). 



> Based on the wonderful Muffinlance's herbalist!Zuko AU.

Spirit learns early on that humans don’t understand. Their new friends don’t understand, their soldier-patients don’t understand – not even the old herbalist who’s lived with Miyuki for so long understands.

Sure, they understand the _concept_ , when Spirit says they’ve been influenced more by Miyuki than anyone else, and they nod, smile, and stop giving them weird looks when their mannerisms are more feline than human, but they can’t comprehend what they really _mean_ , not when their narrow minds don’t want to accept the implications.

But now they’re heading into the Fire Nation (Spirit’s home, Azula’s home, _the Fire Lord’s home—_ ) and they don’t have the time to dance around the subject anymore. They don’t have time to do nothing more than _imply_ , to wait for their friends to realise what they’ve been trying to explain this whole time; they can’t wait for them to understand because they know, now, that humans will never understand, that the only way is to say it outright and _they just can’t do that._

A cat purrs to set worried minds at ease.

A cat plays to hone its instincts and practise its skills.

A cat licks its wounds to help them heal, but it does not forget.

A cat yowls to give you a warning, to ward off a potential attacker.

Cats hiss and screech and snarl and growl, and Spirit’s been mimicking Miyuki's vocal displays of displeasure ever since they woke up to find themselves in the Earth Kingdom.

When a cat goes silent? That’s when you get nervous. A silent cat is beyond such trivial things as warnings. A silent cat is one that has already decided to fight – it’s _waiting_ , waiting for you to let your guard down, waiting for the perfect opportunity to pounce...

And Spirit, well. Spirit’s been getting quieter and quieter with every passing day on the bison, soaring towards the border. Katara worries, but then again, maybe Spirit's just like this sometimes. Sokka includes Spirit in his planning, reassuring them that everything will turn out fine, in the end. Aang coaxes old Fire Nation stories out of them, so the others won't seem too clueless when they arrive.

Spirit thinks that if any human were to understand them, it would be Toph. After all, she is just as different, just as not-understood. The earthbender doesn't seem to react to their newfound reservation, just laughs in that knowing way of hers and sits with Spirit and asks them to teach her to recognise herbs by the shape of their leaves.

Spirit smiles at their friends, letting them assume that they’re only nervous to be back in the home country again after so long, and turns back to their herbs, mentally reciting their uses. Not their usual herbs, no, not the ones with healing properties – Spirit will be using these herbs for very different purposes.

 _Foxglove for hallucinations,_ Spirit sings mentally, because they’ve always found it easier to memorise something when it’s put to a melody. _And rhododendron to paralyse._

They sort through their pouches, checking that each herb has dried properly, in the way the herbalist taught them, the way that keeps them potent for as long as the woman was old. _Aconite for a mercy, and larkspur to make them beg for it._

Spirit picks up the last pouch, tossing it up and snatching it out of the air again before the wind can blow it out of reach. “Do you know what the Fire Lord told me, before he burned my face?” they say conversationally, and it’s not really a question, but it catches everyone’s attention all the same.

Spirit hasn’t shared much about their life before, and their friends are reluctantly curious and worried for too many reasons to count, but they’re not saying this to set their minds at ease. They’re not purring anymore, but they’re not yowling either. They're far past that (they're three years past that, and the last time they tried—) because they only ever need one lesson to learn. Now, though — they’re baring their fangs and unsheathing their claws. They’re going to show the world exactly how _sharp_ they are.

They look away to hide the sardonic smile spreading over their face. “He said, ‘You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher.’”

Spirit tilts their head, considering the unremarkable leather pouch, weighing it thoughtfully in their hand. They go to put it with the others, but then they hesitate, and tie it to their belt instead. They glance at their friends and find them looking horrified, too shocked to speak, and they’re glad for that, because it means they’re not asking questions. The only one who catches their meaning is Toph, who remembers the contents of the pouch and connects it to the short description of the herb that they’d given her when she’d asked what they were all for. She laughs, half-relieved and half-malicious, and Spirit grins fiercely back at her, knowing that Toph will see it in the way their breath audibly hisses out between their teeth.

 _Water hemlock for all of this, and for_ suffering _to the end._

Spirit glances at their other friends’ confused expressions. They don't deign to elaborate. _Let them wonder,_ they think. _They’ll understand soon enough._

Humans look at cats and see their long fur, their wide eyes, their soft paws. Maybe it's because they're so much bigger that they tend to judge based on appearances, rather than experiences: on what they want to see, rather than what they know.

After all, the only creature that ever remembers that a cat is a _predator_ is its _prey._

**Author's Note:**

> All of the plants mentioned are real poisons, and I didn't just make up the effects, though I did just pick one defining feature for each. Foxglove does cause hallucinations and rhododendron does cause paralysis. Aconite can kill in an hour, whilst larkspur can take longer than six. Water hemlock has most of the effects of all of the aforementioned plants, and can take from three hours to four days to kill you. Since these plants are lesser known than, say, oleander, yew, and deadly nightshade, they're more common, so it's feasible to actually find them pretty easily.
> 
> Side note: when I wrote this, I imagined Spirit singing their rhyme to the tune of Oranges and Lemons (with a modified rhythm to make it fit). It's a traditional folk song and popular nursery rhyme, which makes it... unsettling when you put these lyrics to it. To say the least. I might podfic it just to have an excuse to sing it.
> 
> On the other hand, I'm not nonbinary, so if anyone needs to correct me on my characterisation, please comment and I'll fix it!


End file.
